Christmas Blues? Here's How to Let Them Go

Well, Christmas is just around the corner and as I type this I am thinking of the presents I still have left to buy. Thankfully it’s not too many though. I hope you don’t find yourself in the same boat as me. I know however that this can be a difficult time for someone experiencing fertility issues.

In the letters I receive each week I hear many stories of the difficulties of going through Christmas having hoped for that one special present you both wanted this year would have come a little early. Another year end approaches and it can be challenging if you are not pregnant yet. But by now if you have read my tips all along you know that I might just have another way for you to look at this time of year. Traditionally Christmas is a time of giving and receiving, a time of joy but it is also a time for suffering by many, not just those with fertility issues. Why do people suffer around Xmas? I think it’s because as discussed above there are certain expectations set up around Christmas. People are supposed to be happy, they are supposed to be cheerful but when they take a look at their life and it’s not jolly or what they want and they feel they lack more than the next person, it can spiral them into a dark place at a time when peace on Earth is supposed to be talked about around the world. Hopefully this Christmas you can find peace within yourself. How do I suggest you do this? There are a few ways you can and here is one of them. You can surrender. What? Give up? What am I talking about? The kind of surrender I am talking about is not about defeat, it’s not about giving up trying or keeping yourself from doing whatever you can to be healthy enough physically and emotionally to create a life. The kind of surrender I am talking about is giving up the relentless pain and letting go of continually trying to fight what seems to be a never ending battle. Relinquish the pain and suffering you are going through by trying to control the situation and TRUST yourself, your body and your partner that no matter what happens you will be okay. You are okay, right now, exactly the way you are. Surrender the destructive thoughts, the what ifs, the “What am I doing wrong” and embrace your life as it is right now AND continue to create what you want by paying attention to what your body and mind need. Put yourself first this Christmas AND, AT THE SAME TIME, be there for others when needed. Maybe even give a present to someone in need. I know it seems paradoxical. How can you put yourself first and be there for others as well? You can put yourself first by giving yourself the best Christmas present that you could ever give yourself, ACCEPTANCE and LOVE. This will allow you to then be there for others much more this holiday season with a full heart, not an empty one. You may even choose to spend a quiet romantic Christmas with your partner and appreciate your relationship for what is it today. You may not have that luxury but I hope that you can spend at least some time focusing on what you have this Christmas. If it’s not all that you want then next year continue to improve yourself and move toward what you want to create. During the holidays remember to look at loved ones and friends who have children, babies or who are pregnant as a sign that the same thing may be coming closer to you. Hug those little ones and hold them close to your heart and tell yourself that you are ready to receive life as well. Hopefully this time though when you do that it won’t seem like it is an uphill battle and the tears will truly be tears of joy because you have felt as though you have let go of the burden you have carried and now have a lighter load to move forward with into the New Year. If the end of this year marks the end of your trying to have a child, as some people have shared with me through their letters, then assure yourself that you have done all that you could and that you know your decision is the right one and you are not stopping out of frustration but stopping because you are ready to move on and feel okay about it. For you however, you may continue to move toward creating a life or expanding your family and I suggest you make a New Years Resolution to do this and make choices that are constructive for yourself and your relationship. Make choices that you know in your heart are what you want to do, instead of feeling forced into something because of “what if I don’t”, this could have been the one, etc. TRUST that in your heart you know what is best for you and that when you supply it with what it needs your body is more intelligent than you could ever give it credit for. Give it what it needs to help you produce a balanced state and optimal health. And if you want more tips on how to handle relatives and what other people may say around Christmas that is less than cheerful to your ears, then check out the other fertility tip that I wrote titled Handling Friends, Relatives and Strangers as well as Have You Been Avoiding Friends and Family. And I sincerely hope that you do have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year.