FEAR, FAITH and your FOCUS on Fertility

In other tips I have talked about shifting focus to help improve your fertility. Many times you will find yourself focusing on the limitations of the situation or what you lack and this can have a negative effect on your physiology. Today I want to explain this a bit more to drive home how important the subject of focus is in regards to your fertility.

When a person is completely problem focused (what is wrong with me?, Why can't I have a child?, What is the problem with me?, I am infertile or I can't have a child because...) and focusing on what they lack, they find themselves after a while, in a state of Chaos. This chaos is fed by FEAR. Fear of not being good enough, fear of not being whole, fear of __________ you fill in the blank. If we continue to be problem focused and continue asking ourselves the same questions, which haven't served us in the past, this just adds to the chaos in our life and in our system and negatively affects our physiology. At times these questions and thought processes can even lead to atrophy. Our life shrinks down to one main, centered point...having a child. When we continue to focus on what we lack, we lose sight of what we have in our life and for some people, a big part of our life becomes paralyzed.

So what can you do about it? If you want to change your situation you must become solutions focused but the differentiation that I see here is that instead of looking for solutions based from a position of FEAR, it’s important to look for solutions from a perspective of FAITH. Society, the media, even the conventional medical profession promotes fear to get you to act (You are running out of eggs, at your age you better do a procedure straight away or you might miss out, your time is running out, and I am sure you could list many more) And the reality is, when you act out of fear, you rarely produce the result you want and your rarely uncover the real cause for the fertility issue. It is very unlikely that anyone's fertility is going to drop severely in a few months time.

Keeping this in mind, it is important to take this time to renew your faith in the process whether its natural or artificial, and work on improving your emotional and physical health. This will provide you with CLARITY, not chaos. The more clarity and faith you have the more likely you are to create the life that you long for. This also involves taking action to improve your health and in some cases changing your life and your attitude to empower yourself to take charge of your fertility. Your focus when trying to having a child is so important. Start from a position of being grateful for what you have whether it’s a good relationship, great family, great friends or maybe you even have a child already to be grateful for.

This will open your life up to new life instead of pushing it away. Then from here ask yourself if you are acting from a place of fear eg, "If I don't find out what's wrong with me or what I can do then I will never have a child" or a place of faith, eg "I know that we will become pregnant and I know that the right person will come to me or may even be in my life right now to help me fulfill my dream". I don't know what the exact words are for you, but what I do know is shifting your focus to finding solutions from a position of faith opens so many more avenues of possibility to you and will help to improve your physiology which in turn can improve your fertility.

If you are running to or from something because of fear, it’s as if you are an engine constantly revved up. What happens to an engine that is constantly revved up? It breaks down. And when you come from a place of fear and continually take action based on fear, you end up breaking yourself down both emotionally and physically. There are several other tips in this section on building yourself up. Have a look through the others tips on mind body connection