Having Difficulty Communicating to Your Partner?

This week's tip is related to communication, specifically with your partner.

This is such an important topic.  And it so often the source of hard feelings, feeling isolated, feeling disempowered, and feeling frustrated among many other things.  This applies to both the male and female as both can be experiencing great anguish with this situation or one partner may be having a hard time understanding the emotions of the other partner and this can be a source of hard feelings, confusion, and in some instances more heartache.

It is so important that you are able to talk to your partner about how you feel and what you are going through so I wanted to give you a few suggestions to help this communication along.  

Remember that you both may be struggling with the fertility issue but this does not mean that you both will be expressing this struggle in the same way.  It is no secret that women and men can express their feelings differently. Some go inward, and others outward and please remember if you partner doesn't look as upset as you feel this does not necessarily mean they don't care, but probably have a different way of dealing with what is going on.  

I am not here to say there is a right way to express one’s feelings or a wrong way, the point of our discussion today is to encourage healthy communication between you.  

A woman may be more outwardly despondent not only because of the situation but in the case of assisted procedures and the medication associated with these, her hormones are going from one extreme to the other which can account for horrible mood swings and bouts of depression. This is many times very difficult for a husband to witness as they have no control over what is going on and no "right" answers to give to fix it.

A man who has been told his sperm is not up to par may have feelings of inadequateness that he does not express. Many men thankfully understand that the number of sperm he has does not reflect his masculinity in any way.  It is only a measurement, simply a factor which could in some cases actually be a tip off for necessary lifestyle changes to occur.

There are dozens of other scenarios that i can describe, but the bottom line is that you are not alone.  Share with your spouse what you are feeling and let each other know that you are there to give support no matter what.  Some days one of you will be strong and other days it may be the other person's turn to unload what they are feeling.

Remember to take some time for each other that doesn't involve timed intercourse, taking temperatures, or giving injections.  Plan a holiday, take a walk and hold hands, go to a movie together or a show, do something special for one another. And remember to respect each others feelings no matter how they are expressed.  And it’s also important to be supportive and help the "other half" seek out help if they need it to get rid of the horrible feelings that they may be harbouring. Remember letting go of the fear, sadness, guilt and anger doesn't mean that you won't want a child or that having a child is not important to you, letting go of these emotions means that you can remove the barriers that may be keeping you from receiving new life.