Letting Go of Anger to Improve you Health and Fertility

Let's continue our discussion on Anger and Fertility. Anger is a stimulant emotion. By this I mean it revs your body up.  You tend to clench your teeth, tighten muscles, and some even get red in the face.  Anger is normal and we all experience it. The problem comes in when we hold on to it.

As I have said previously many times, it is important to understand that it is okay to experience any negative emotion, including anger.  Any negative emotion is just trying to tell you to pay attention. If someone is crossing your boundaries, you should feel anger so you can enforce your boundaries appropriately.  After enforcing your boundaries then there is still a little bit more work to do. Now its time to evaluate the situation, see what you can learn from it and let it go. Why? Because holding on to anger has been shown to negatively impact your physiology.  Holding on to anger has been related to heart disease and stroke.

Researchers found otherwise healthy people prone to anger, hostility, and depression have higher levels of a substance linked to narrowing of the arteries and future heart disease risk called C-reactive protein (CRP). This protein is released in the body in response to the inflammation caused by stress, infection, and other threats to the immune system.

Another marker of cardiovascular disease and even fertility outcomes is homocysteine.  I have written about this in the Fertility Secrets Revealed ebook that you received when you became a member of our site. Elevated levels of homocysteine in the follicular fluid or semen correlated with difficulty getting pregnant and miscarriage.  Studies by Catherine Stoney show that elevated levels of homocysteine are common in people who hold on to anger and hostility.

So letting go of past anger is important to help balance your physiology and improve your overall health and fertility.

Some people hold on to anger that they have about something or someone because if they let it go then some how this might mean that what that person did was okay.  The anger therefore is a symbol or defining marker that what that person did was wrong, what is happening to me is wrong, and therefore I should be angry.

I agree that experiencing anger may have been appropriate for you and even warranted, but holding on to that anger doesn’t do anything to take care of the situation, improve it, or resolve it.  Holding on to anger doesn’t even guarantee that anyone else besides yourself is going to be effected by what is happening or what has happened in the past.

I have worked with people who have been abused and harboured much anger for the abuser.  But this anger has been held on to for many years after any contact with the abuser has been made.  So the only person that the anger is effecting is the person holding on to it. Letting the anger go, does not mean that what is happening is okay or what happened in the past was okay.  Letting the anger go helps you to improve your physiology and improve your overall health.

So how do you do it?  Let go of anger I mean…

There is an excellent technique that I have utilized to help people let go of all of their negative emotion of the past (remember this doesn’t keep a person from being able to experience it in the future) called Time Line Therapy Techniques TM.  These are techniques that should be taught and practiced by a certified Time Line Therapy practitioner (for more on Time Line Therapy see www.timelinetherapy.com)

But for our purposes here I will give you some preliminary steps to be able to diffuse and let go of anger from your past that you may be holding on to and allowing to negatively impact your health.

Step one:  Acknowledge it

When there is an event in your life in which you have become angry about and after you have enforced your boundaries or followed through with whatever the anger was telling you to pay attention to, then it is time to review the event to allow yourself to clear the event of any anger you may have experienced.  Simply go back to the event in your minds eye and see if when you imagine this event again if there is any anger there as you review it. If so, just acknowledge that the anger is present or you may simply know that there was anger there in the past.

Step Two:  Get the learning.

Make sure that you have removed yourself from the even for this step. What I mean by this is imagine as if you were watching the old event unfold on a movie screen where you are a spectator of the event and watching yourself as if you were watching an old video tape of the event. To get yourself out of the event even further imagine yourself looking down from a balcony in a movie theatre so that you are above the movie or event.  From here ask yourself what you can learn from the event. What learnings can you get from this event that you can put where all of your positive learnings are stored and you can use them whenever you need them.

The learnings should be for you, constructive and something you can use in the future.

Step 3:  Let it Go

Once you have gotten what you wanted to learn then imagine the event again and see if the anger is still there.  If it is still there then take yourself out of the event again and continue to ask yourself what else you can learn to let this anger go and remind yourself that letting go of the anger is going to help you improve your physiology, your overall health and your fertility.  Is holding on to this anger, that maybe impacting your physiology really more important to you than having a child?

Remember holding on to this anger isn’t hurting anyone but you.  And letting it go doesn’t mean the event didn’t happen or wasn’t appropriate or wasn’t difficult.  Letting go of the anger basically frees you from being controlled or effected by something that has happened in your past.  Getting the learnings is the most important part so that you let go of the anger and use the learnings for the future to create what you want.

I had a patient who has been having difficulty getting pregnant for the last 10 years.  Hormone levels were up and down and the herbs were helping her overall, but after a year on them she still wasn’t pregnant. Earlier in her program I suggested she consider our Fertile Mind Fertile Body weekend but she refused saying she was fine.  She did finally admit that was still holding on to what had happened to her years ago. The anger she harboured for the people that she blamed for her predicament was still so strong I could see her getting physically upset every time she spoke of the events from the past.  After utilizing the Time Line Therapy techniques ( she needed a bit of support from me as a practitioner because this was a significant life event) she was finally able to release the anger that she had once experienced in the past and that had been haunting her for 10+ years.  In her early 40’s now she would be due any day now.

When a person gets what they need to learn that can let the negative emotion go.  Is it this simple for everyone experiencing fertility issues, i.e. just let go of anger and you will get pregnant.  I wish that were the case. But all I can say is what if holding on to these negative emotions is what is impacting your fertility?  Wouldn’t it be worth it to let it go? The worst thing that can happen is you feel healthier, happier, and more balanced as a result.

Try these steps on an event from your past that you are only a little angry about now.  When you let go of anger on the little events then move on to events such as if you have gotten angry when you have seen or heard about another person getting pregnant and then use these steps with other events that come to mind in which you may once have been angry.  If you find it difficult to do this process alone then reach out to a professional counselor or other support network.